Mello and the Chocolate Factory!
by Spliced-up-Angel
Summary: Mello and the Death Note gang along with Justin Bieber and Usher win tickets to go to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory! Yay! Mello begins to fall in love.. oh yeah, and there are random appearences from other characters from anime and cartoons... yeah.


Mello And The Chocolate Factory Mello x Willy Wonka Crack Pairing Fanfiction 

Mello was sitting down on his couch in his new leather jacket, which he was totally thrilled to be wearing. He was eating his last chocolate bar, but didn't mind because he would be getting another shipment from the film crew (behind the scenes of the anime) in a few seconds. He was getting a shipment of chocolate called 'Willy Wonka's Chocolate' from a chocolate factory that was reopening. He was unaware of the golden tickets then. As the maid, who incidentally was Mikuru Asahina, gave him the freshly packaged chocolate bar. Mello had just finished his 'Hershey' chocolate bar and took it out of Miss Asahina's hands as Haruhi Suzumiya grabbed onto Mikuru and forced her into a bunny girl costume for the next part of 'The Adventures Of Mikuru Asahina'.

Mello carefully unwrapped the chocolate bar, feeling the aroma of chocolate pierce through his nasal cavity. He noticed a golden paper inside the wrapper. Curiously, Mello picked up the golden paper and to his surprise, it was a golden ticket. He read it, but it was in English, so he had to get a translator to come. He called for P. Diddy to come and translate it for him. P. Diddy came over in swag and read it out loud to Mello, "Greetings to you, lucky finder of the Golden Ticket. Now get your lucky ass over to my chocolate factory, where you can find all the chocolate in the world! If you live in some random place like Japan or are some random anime character with anger management problems and have an odd sweet-tooth, then you better find a plane quick because I live in Britain or some place like that... well, I have an accent... so, get over here fast, or else, you will miss out- the date is tomorrow and you can bring one 'partner'... and I have quotations around _partner_ if you know what I mean... unless, you're straight... but I dunno..."

Mello looked up from whatever he was looking at, "Matt! We're going to get what I want!" He smiled.

"You don't mean..."

"Oh, yes, I do."

"You're going to kidnap someone again?"

"NO! I AM GOING TO BRITAIN OR SOME PLACE LIKE THAT, DAMN IT!"

"Oooohhh... as long as I can play _Disney Princess _for my PSP, then, I am fine."

"Good!"

"Will I get more screen time then?" Matt asked.

"No, you will probably get shot and die." Mello said honestly... because we can't afford a minor character who got so little screen time and manga panels to get more than they need.

Meanwhile, Near was sitting down and playing with his dolls, like any sixteen (let's say he is) year old boy would be doing. Chouji Akimichi passed by him and dropped a chocolate bar. _Why the Hell are there other anime characters in here while I am still on screen?_ Near thought to himself. He picked up the chocolate bar and examined it. It said 'Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory' on it. He opened it and saw a golden paper in it. Near took it out, but it was in English so he had to get a translator. So, he got Taylor Swift to translate it for him.

Taylor Swift cleared her throat, but out popped Kayne West saying, "I am really happy for you, but P. Diddy is one of the best translators out there!" So Taylor Swift left and P. Diddy translated it for Near.

"Greetings to you, lucky finder of the Golden Ticket. Now get your lucky ass over to my chocolate factory, where you can find all the chocolate in the world! If you live in some random place like Japan or are some random anime character with an obsession with toys, then you better find a plane quick because I live in Britain or some place like that... well, I have an accent... so, get over here fast, or else, you will miss out- the date is tomorrow and you can bring one friend/ person you just met... or even a toy!"

"Hmmm... This seems like a good relaxation time... who should I bring?" Near thought out loud.

"Ooooh! Meee! I wanna go!" Arnold from _The Magic School Bus_ enthused.

"Hmmmm..."

"Please, Sir!"

"I know!"

"Yay-"

"I will bring Woody!" Near stated.

"There's a snake in my boot!" Woody said happily.

Meanwhile, L was in his office and he got a package in the mail. L looked at the address, "Mom? I thought you were dead... well, that's what _L Change The World_ told me anyways..." L opened up the box and found a chocolate bar with 'Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory' written on it. He opened up the chocolate bar because he loves sweets to find a golden piece of paper... that had nothing on it. L observed it and noticed that it had something written on the back. It was in English, but L could speak English because he is smart like that... it read, 'Greetings to you, lucky finder of the Golden Ticket. Now get your lucky ass over to my chocolate factory, where you can find all the chocolate in the world! If you live in some random place like Japan or are some random anime character with an obsession with sweets and looks like the child of a bishonen and a panda, then you better find a plane quick because I live in Britain or some place like that... well, I have an accent... so, get over here fast, or else, you will miss out- the date is tomorrow and you can bring one 'partner'... and I have quotations around _partner_ if you know what I mean... unless, you're straight... but I dunno...I wrote the same thing for Mello...'

L picked up his phone and pressed a button. Watari went on the screen. "Watari, send my plane, call up Yagami-kun. I am 75% certain this Wonka guy is Kira..."

Light walked in the room with Ryuk and Misa Misa trailing behind him and Rem behind Misa.

"Light can't come! I wuv him!" Misa enthused.

"Yagami-kun, do you want to come?" he asked Light.

Light didn't say anything, but his eyes said, 'Yes! Please! Anything to get me away from this crazy-assed woman!'

"It's settled then," L said, "We leave in an hour."

When Mello got to Britain or wherever Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory is at, himself and Matt sat in the air plane, "Okay," Mello said to Matt, "You hardly have any screen time, so make the best out of the time you have."

"Okay!" Matt said lighting a cigarette and stepping out of the plane. Mello sighed and heard a bunch of gunshots. He grabbed a chocolate bar and looked out the plane door to see a dead red-haired kid with a cigarette in his hand.

Mello stared in a irrupt of anger, "Damn it, Matt!" he was angry for three reasons, one Matt wasted his screen time, two his partner died, three, Mello didn't have anyone to bring to the chocolate factory.

All of a sudden, Rock Lee came running in and exclaimed, "THIS IS THE SPRINGTIME OF MY YOUTH!"... what? A fangirl isn't allowed to put in their obsession in a story?

Dick Mangina came in and put his hand on Mello's shoulder, "Don't worry, I will autograph something for you to make you feel better."

Mello glared at Dick, "Get off me, damn it. And who the Hell are you?"

"I'm a voice actor!"

A random fangirl, who incidentally is a fat lard, came running in and glomped the damn forty seven year old.

Mello stared wide eyed, like he normally did at the lard and the voice actor whom made Dark, Tamaki, Ed, Zero and many other guys that I can't put my hand onto alive, "Go away, now." Mello said pointing a gun at us. They ran like Hell.

Mello heard someone behind him. He turned around to see Near, "Near! I hate you so much! You will be my partner!" Mello demanded.

"Why? I have a partner already," Near said.

Mello was silent for a moment, then said, "Well, if you don't become my partner, then I will kidnap this kid!" he held onto Momiji from Fruits Basket.

Momiji said something in German that nobody could understand.

"But don't you always want to surpass me?" Near asked.

"Tushe... but please! Wait a minute, aren't we totally out of character?"

"Yeah, but this is a fanfiction, nobody really pays attention, anyways..." Near said picking up a doll.

"I can be your partner!" Squidward from Spongebob Squarepants offered.

"No! I don't know who you are? And how the Hell are you still alive out of water?" Mello yelled as Squidward ran away holding hands with Kaname from Vampire Knight.

"Okay. I am sixty five percent certain that this will turn out well," Near said putting Woody into a case and giving it to a flying monkey to bring back to Japan. He walked over to Mello and said, "okay, we shall be there soon."

Mello nodded as a slight blush drew against his face. He was working with Near... something nobody would have guessed because Mello is a complete asshole when it comes to that, but he is a sexy asshole so people just ignore the asshole part mindlessly... because then again we have Kira...


End file.
